To Market, to Market, to Buy a...never mind

International Quilt Market/Festival. Already. A whole year went by and once again I'm unprepared (money and stamina-wise) for the biggest quilting event in the country. I have no idea how that happened. Yesterday it was the middle of July and I was perusing the Market catalogue, preparing to totally screw up Sew-Ho Shirley's Market registration. Which I did. And not just once. I did it twice. Effortlessly. She was in Germany touring breweries and castles and I was doing her a big favor by handling all her paperwork for her. She won't be asking me to do that again. Sorry, Shirley!

Anyway - Shirley blew into town last Thursday and we drove down to the Four Seasons to check in. She was tired of driving and I was just tired. We ordered room service, and since I brought the 3 bottles of Moscato, Shirley picked up the dinner tab. We had very pricey Lobster BLT's which were out of this world, and the french fries (which I never eat) were outstanding! They had a little bernaise dipping sauce that I could've drunk with a straw.

The tab came to about $60 including tip which we figured was about right considering we were at the freakin' Four Seasons, for Peter's sake. Shirley handed the waiter 3 twenties and he just stared at her. Didn't say a word. Then she looked at the check: 80+ dollars! She added another twenty to the pile and another 15% for the tip. The guy leaves us with our mouths hanging open and as we double check the amount, we see the fine print: $4 for delivery charge AND 20% for the waiter. He made 35% tip - the bastard! How hard is it to roll a table into a room, not speak English, and hold your hand out? Holy crap what a racket!
But we got even with them - I came with a supply of single serving Pringles, granola bars and my extra delicious, homemade, custom trail mix: candied pecans, roasted almonds, dried cranberries and chocolate covered pomegranates. And wine. Especially the Naked Guy Wine, bought just because of the bottle. Of course.

Hang on - take another look at the garnish on those Lobster BLT's - they were like peppers that had the texture of olives. They were so yummy I need to 1) find out what the heck they are and 2) find them period! If you know, leave me a comment. Pretty please?

Oh wait - I almost forgot: look at Shirley's hairspray!

may have to give up my Big Sexy in favor of her Got to be Glued - mine is Hurricane Hold, but Shirley's is Screaming Hold. That might be stronger. I scream more often than a hurricane hits. So, yeah.

Pre-Market: Shoolhouse & Sample Spree!
Got up early Friday morning to meet Peggy and Mandy at the convention center to get breakfast (way cheaper than 4F and no tip required) and then get a jump start on Schoolhouse. Fast forward through the whole day of being back in highschool, fighting the crowds in between classes and having to choose between being late for the next class or running to the bathroom. For me, the bathroom always won. It's important to me that the bathroom win. And really, it's best for everyone around me. So I consider it a public service. Just like make-up. A little spackle and paint is a must before being fit for public viewing.

See more of Amy's photos of Schoolhouse & Sample Spree at Diary of a Quilter
Next up: Sample Spree, or as fellow Sew-Ho Cara Gulati calls it: Stupid Spree. Don't ask. But I like it anyway: I bought all the retreat gifts for the Ho's for next year, and a mess of ribbon for my daughters' Etsy shop, Tightly Wound. Not open yet, but keep your eyes peeled. Especially if you've got 1) little girl babies to buy for, and 2) more money than time. I also bought some serious quilter bling in the form of jewel-toned rhinestone lanyards.

The photo doesn't do them justice. They're the unidentifiable black stripes on the left. The girls will be selling them in their booth at the guild's quilt show next March.
Wait - here's a better photo - cool, huh?

And see that hand in the lower right picture? That's the blur of how fast the stuff you want to buy turns into the stuff you wish you'd been able to buy!
My one piece of advice for Sample Spree: when the doors open, don't go to the right. The Moda tables are over there and for some inexplicable reason, the annual running of the quilters takes place and you run the risk of being seriously injured in the stampede.

But before the doors opened, we met the most charming Aussie quilter who was ::sniff:: all alone without any connections at Market. So we adopted her!

Her name's Stacey (she's the one on the left) and she runs the Circle Retreat in Brisbane, Australia. She is so cute and we're all invited to check out her place if we just happen to be in the area. Might take some doing, but I'd sure like to drop in! When I'm in the neighborhood.
Afterwards, we had dinner at the Flying Saucer, a beer joint filled with Hipsters and Hallowe'en goers. It wasn't til I saw Batman walk by that I knew some were in costume and not just dressed up for a Friday night out in Houston. The waitress was a Beer Goddess and didn't mind me taking a picture of her chest, even though Shirley and Peggy wished I didn't.

That'll teach them to take me out in public and ply me with alcohol. Don't remember what we ate, but I did have a really nice Porter something or other. Then, on the way back to the car, we saw these guys parked next to us.

They were getting ready for the costume contest that was taking place downtown and the one guy was way impressed that this ol' lady knew he was Bumble Bee! He'd worked for a year fabricating his costume and was getting ready to put on his transformer legs that would make him 8' tall. He was confident that his breakdancing routine would put him over the top as crowd favorite. Wonder how that turned out for him. He'd have beat Batman for sure, though. And the half-hearted zombie walking with him.

Next on the agenda: Saturday and Sunday Market
I can't tell you how many times I embarrassed my quilting buddies (and Megan and Gillian on Sunday) asking people for photos of their outfits or shoes. But I found out last year after clandestinely trying to take photos of footwear that it's better to just go ahead and ask. I put Deb in a very precarious and olfactorily (yes, I just made that up) uncomfortable position by asking her to pretend to tie her shoe next to a particularly unattractive pair and she was blown away by the aroma. Sorry Deb. I should come with a warning label.
My first photo is, predictably, of elinor peace bailey. no caps. like e.e. cummings. in drag. she's always so sweet. and it's not like she doesn't want to be noticed. This one's from behind as she was seated in front of me at Schoolhouse, and I was afraid I wouldn't see her again to ask officially. But then she turned around for a front shot.

And check out this cutie! She was so adorable! Cute as a bug's ear, as my grandmother used to say. Her booth (right next door to the "MaryLee We Roll Along" bobbin necklace girls above), had giant wooden knitting needles and crochet hooks and they used them to knit/crochet the garland across the top.

Jessica loves Amy Butler's fabrics so much, she's tattooing on her arm! It's not done yet. I'll have to look her up next year to see the final ink.
I should tell you that the George R Brown Convention Center is built to look like a ship. You'll see why I'm telling you this in just a second.

Much to my daughters' chagrin (and my friend Rhonda's, too) I chased this guy down.

I think he was trying to find the cruise director.
And look who we ran into on Sunday! Cutsie redhead, in another self-sewn ensemble.

Shoes!

I promised I wouldn't reveal the owner's name of the shoe on the left. The big-toe-less one. But her initials are Cindy M. Oops.

Boots!

Could've put Superman up in the fashion section, but his were the only pair of red boots I saw. BTW - no amount of money would make Gillian pose with him.

Stuff I Liked/Wanted/Bought

Loved all the pillows speared by the corner posts. The Tightly Wound girls in the back are shopping for the latest in trims . This booth had puh-lenty!

Silk "ribbons" from repurposed Indian Saris.

And even finer 'spun' silk yarn from saris.

Sunday night after Market, we met up with some friends in the lobby bar over at the Hilton. Don't know what to make of their chandeliers. Well, I do, but I don't want to say in public.

That's Cara Gulati and Charmaine (Sew-Ho's) on the right, and Margaret Miller on the left. Looks like Cara must have been talking her ear off. We had a couple of drinks, dinner, and general tomfoolery - but no photos allowed! But I did catch these two stumbling around outside afterwards.

No! The ones in the back! If you can't tell what they're walking around with - in public - well, don't ask. And with that, I'm saying goodbye to market for another year. Finally.

One Block Wonder Why I Signed Up for This

I was strong-armed into taking Dolores's One Block Wonder Encore class at Quilters Crossing a while back.

Having never made one, I wasn't really wanting to do an "encore," but I did anyway. Mandy helped me pick out my focus fabric with a 12" repeat, which is important to know, but now I don't remember why. I'd go check, but I'm not anywhere near my studio - I'm writing this at the Westchase Marriott waiting for Jill to be done with the L.A. Dance Magic convention.

And besides - you don't care anyway. So here's my fabric (Terrain by Kate Spain) and paraphernalia.

Class Session One:
Ok. So if you're not familiar with the One Block Wonder Why Process, you cut strips out of your 6 identical layers of fabric, then subcut them into 60° triangles. Then you grab each little stack of identical triangles and start playing with the orientation of each. Like this:

These are the same six triangles, just rotated to form different designs. Pretty cool.

Hexagons - Y-Seams - no problem. Sew three together for one half of the block, then sew the other three together. Block 1

I, of course, forgot about 3+3 and sewed 2+2+2. After I sewed the 3rd set of 2, I realized that 3 parts can't be made into 2 halves. Rip.
(Like my white Featherweight? It's not actually mine. Yet. It's Peggy's. Until I finish a few more quilts for her.) Ok, so anyway - Crap. Rip. Add a triangle to each of the 2+2's. Then sew into halves. Finally. There! Done!
Wrong. I musta missed the part where Dolores said, "Don't sew the two halves together - just pin them with two (2) pins - one at the top and one in the center." (Deb? Are you paying attention? Me neither.) Rip again. No photo of me being stupid. Again.

I finished 4 whole half blocks in two hours.
So it was a two-part class with a week in between to get our blocks made.
Time being what it is at my house, i didn't actually sit down to sew my blocks til late Monday night. Fortunately I hadn't broken my rule about not making anything larger than a lap quilt, so I only had to make :I forget how many: blocks. How hard could that be? And more importantly, how long could that possibly take? I'll tell you how long. No, I won't. But I did take a picture of my studio clock to prove what time I finished. I know what you're thinking: "But you could have just changed the clock to whatever time you wanted to make it say!" But you'd be wrong. I actually have 2 clocks in my studio - one for each Daylight Savings Time season. The one on the Bose is set to Fall, and the one on the shelf is set to Spring. That's the one I took a picture of. It's good for a few more days, (wait...hours...oh crud - one more hour) - then I'll spend 6 months only looking at the other one. Scroll down for closing time in the studio.
So remember when I said "How hard could that be?" Yeah. Well, now I know. Just because each of the little triangles are identical, you apparently have to pay attention to what you're doing. Or you could do what I did, and just sew them any which way and be totally surprised when they don't form that cute little spinning design in the center.

Then swear at the dog (who was not doing a very good job of keeping me awake and focused)

and start ripping. Oh. And did I mention that since the 60° triangles are equilateral, (60+60+60=180) that means only one of the three sides is on the straight of grain. The other two are severely biased. Like me. Against these blocks.

Carefully unsew each stitch so as to not stretch the seam, while cursing the person who talked me into this stupid class. (You know who you are.) Then what's really fun is to sew the triangles with wrong side to right side. That doesn't work at all, cuz one triangle shows the backside when you open it up.

Scream. Rip. Watch as Cowardly Mastiff bolts for the door.

Finally finished the blocks and fell into bed. That's 3 a.m. In the morning.

Class Session Two:
I showed up with all my blocks sewn into 2 halves and pinned correctly, and only then found out that I wouldn't be leaving there with a finished top. Even though all my blocks were done. Dammit. I spent the next two hours learning and semi-applying The Rules of Wonder Block Placement. The blocks are supposed to flow and blend into each other from light to dark or...something. No matter how I moved them around the design wall, I could never get them into a square or rectangle: they kept flowing and blending into weird amoeba-like shapes bearing no resemblance to anything vaguely quilt-shaped.

There weren't any blocks suitable for those holes, so Dolores suggested I make a few blocks of the Encore variety. Just pick a couple from the chart to fill in the holes:

This was so not going to work - much less be easy. Or wonder-ful. I numbered the rows, took them all down and stuffed them into a ziplock bag. They're going to the bottom of my UFO drawer. The 2nd UFO drawer with numbers 29-48. They're now 49th on the list.
Screw it.